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Super
Radio X Presents...
THE TOP 10 VIDEO GAME CONSOLE NAMES |
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The
definitive guide to Video Game console names!
by
Sarah MacDonald
May 2006 |
| _____IN
THE MIDST OF
all the hoopla about the newly released name of
the latest Nintendo console, I found myself wondering—how
important is the actual title of a video game system?
From a historical perspective, the names themselves
are of little import, having had no real pull as
to whether a console succeeds or fails. However,
the names do become embedded in one’s mind,
providing a quick go-to bit of information that
defines the piece of electronics sitting in one’s
living room. The names provide clues, hints to the
buyer if the system is for kiddies or serious adults.
The names suggest speed, power, technology, style.
Names denote to consumers that a particular system
is the one they need if they ever hope to keep up
with the Joneses. Sometimes the names bomb, but
it doesn’t really matter. The name “PlayStation”
is goofy and geeky, but the system itself is an
out-and-out success. In the end, I suppose it doesn’t
matter what a system is named, but I do know that
a game by any other name would not smell as sweet. |
| _____Still
in the mood to play the name game, I decided to
compile a list of the top ten best sounding video
game systems. I looked at the names of every system,
from the first home gaming console ever released
to the latest systems that have yet to even hit
the shelves. I asked myself, which of these would
I buy if I knew absolutely nothing about the equipment?
What would grab me based on the name alone? I thought
about this for a while and compiled a top ten list—a
countdown of the most fun sounding systems, with
absolutely no regard to the actual level of quality
held by the system itself. Read on if you are interested
in my adventure in VG linguistics. |
10. The Odyssey
Magnavox’s 1972 released home
video game console may not have topped the sales
charts, but one can’t deny that it sounded
cool. The name rolls of the tongue in a way that
makes it sound both futuristic and fancy. A reference
to the classic literary epic, the Odyssey
conjures thoughts of adventure and excitement. It
also sounds ahead of its time in an envy-worthy
way—just imagine inviting your friends over
to play with your Odyssey. How
could anyone say no to that? |
9. The Nintendo Gamecube
Straight and to the point, Nintendo’s
system from 2001 is exactly what it claims to be.
“It’s a cube that plays games…let’s
call it the Gamecube.”
Brilliant! Although Nintendo may have originally
entitled this console the Dolphin, I like Gamecube
much better. It’s a pretty safe sounding title,
but it it’s so obvious that it’s almost
unexpected. Plus, it works well when shortened—hands
off my ‘cube, man. |
 |
8. The Jaguar
It may have been Atari’s last
gaming console, but I’m positive that the
name had nothing to do with the system’s ultimate
failure. A jaguar is a powerful
wildcat, and it’s also a sleek sports car.
It’s fast; it’s sexy; it’s cool.
Everything that the word jaguar
connotes is hot—who wouldn’t want to
get in on that action? Fierce! |
7. The Super Nintendo Entertainment System
What could be better than the Nintendo
Entertainment System? Why, the Super
Nintendo Entertainment System of course!
It so formal—you can really sense the hard
work put into the creation of this product. It doesn’t
quite roll off your tongue like the Odyssey does,
but that’s okay. The Super Nintendo
Entertainment System is beyond the need
to be catchy and cool. It’s way too official
for that. |
6. The Colecovision
“Coleco!”
Doesn’t it sound like a way to say, “Welcome!”
in another language? It’s just a word that’s
fun to say. And smooshing the cute and fun “coleco”
against the somber “vision” makes for
an interesting word combination. What makes Colecovision
such a great console name is the balance. It’s
serious, yet happy at the same time. And isn’t
that really what we all want from a game system
in the first place? Coleco! Welcome
home. |
5. The TurboGrafx-16
What the Xbox is trying to indicate
currently with its strangely spelled, hard-edged
name, the TurboGrafx-16 already
did back in 1989…but better. It doesn’t
sound vaguely extreme in a way that you can’t
quite put your finger on; it sounds like the most
intense system you’ll ever play. NEC referred
to this system as the PC Engine in Japan, but as
an American I thank them for changing the name for
us. To the max! |
 |
4. The Sega Saturn
This is a chic sounding console.
It’s got the nice alliteration of two s-words
put right next to each other—how poetic. And
Saturn itself is a cool sounding
word that automatically brings to mind that big
ringed orb which is obviously the coolest planet
in the solar system. It may not have been the most
popular system back in 1995, but it was definitely
the nicest titled one. |
3. Wii
How could anyone not want to play
this system? It’s probably the most joyous
sounding console in existence. It screams fun. In
fact, it screams fun so loudly that it makes you
want to scream: Wii! It reminds
me of slipping down a shiny metal slide in the middle
of a playground on a bright sunny day. Every time
I say the name of this system, it brings me back
to my childhood for a millisecond long escape from
reality. Wii! Let’s play. |
 |
2. The Lynx
Atari has a knack for giving their
systems titles that sound sleek, cool, and fast—and
share their names with an endangered species of
wildcat. Lynx is fun to say and
slides of your tongue easily, beginning with the
sexy “lllll” and ending with the super
sexy “ssss.” It’s the handheld
that Catwoman would want if she had time to devote
to such things. Meow. |
1. The Sega Genesis
Since the dawn of man, the world
awaited the coming of this video game system. Well,
not really, but doesn’t it sound that way?
The Genesis is clearly a console
of biblical proportions. (I can’t believe
that wasn’t their slogan!) It’s got
a smooth sound to it, beginning with the long “a”
in Sega and ending with the velvety soft Genesis.
The name doesn’t necessarily spell out the
function of the product as well as the Gamecube,
but nevertheless it’s such a nice sounding
whatever-it-is that the practicality of the matter
is less than vital. The Genesis.
God wants you to have one. |
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SARAH
MACDONALD
enjoys composing sonnets and cheating at Duck Hunt.
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