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Super
Radio X Presents...
THE PERFECT VIDEO GAME SNACK |
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A
FIELD GUIDE TO VIDEO GAME SNACKING
by
Sarah MacDonald
January 2006 |
| _____HERE
AT SUPER RADIO X HEADQUARTERS,
we are dedicated to providing you with all the video
game related information you could possibly need.
We constantly devote our time to solving your many
video game related problems. One such problem we
have yet to attack would be the age-old video game
snack crisis. It remains a question for all gamers-how
can one combat hunger and goombas at the same time?
What is the perfect video game snack? Until now,
the answer to this question has been unknown to
humans. Completely unfazed by the incredibly daunting
task, Team SRX has decided to solve the VG Snack
Crisis one munchie at a time. |
| _____We
began by experimenting with a classic, if flawed
choice-POTATO CHIPS. Everyone loves this
snack, so if you are looking for a proven crowd
pleaser for your next LAN party, this is certainly
an adequate choice. We suggest skipping fancy flavored
varieties such as sour cream and onion or barbeque,
and going straight for the plain no-frills chip.
The barebones taste of a lightly salted kettle chip
seems to go best with a nice old-school platformer.
Castlevania, anyone? The only drawback with
this snack is that the grease from the chips tends
to make the controller's buttons slightly oily and
not quite as responsive as they should be. Also,
we suggest emptying the chips into a bowl so you
can grab them quickly instead of wasting time reaching
into a crinkled plastic bag. An additional tip is
to place the bowl of chips on a table directly in
front of you. Now, you can mindlessly shovel them
into your face whilst keeping your eyes glued to
the television set. |
"The
barebones taste of a lightly salted kettle chip
seems to go best with a nice old-school platformer.
Castlevania, anyone?" |
_____To
aid those in search of a bolder flavor, we tested
classic DORITOS, which proved to be a decent
choice. These cheese flavored tortilla chips are
almost as popular with gaming types as potato chips.
However, this snack is quite a bit messier than
old-fashioned kettle chips. After just a few dips
into the Doritos bowl, our fingers were fairly well
covered in Nacho Cheesier orange powder. This coating
quickly transferred to the buttons of our controllers,
marring the surface of our once pristine 6-button
Genesis pad. Our advice is to place a slightly damp
cloth napkin or washcloth on your thigh*. This way,
you can quickly brush the cheese-esque seasoning
off your fingers without having to pause or wait
for a level up.
*This advice goes double for CHEETOS,
CHEEZ DOODLES, JAXX, and DORITOS 3D. |
|
_____Following
the sampling of so many chips, the SRX crew needed
to wash down the saltiness and cleanse our palettes.
This brought us to the ultimate video game drink-the
SLURPEE. This beverage gets a thumbs up
for several reasons. First of all, why would anyone
drink when one can opt to slurp instead? Also,
you can buy Slurpees in a myriad of sizes, so
you can satisfy your thirst (small, or great)
without having to refill. Perhaps the best part
about 7-Eleven's gift to the beverage world is
that it comes with a straw! The straw is the perfect
link between a drink and a game-playing human.
We found it helpful while gaming to set the cup
on the armrest of the chair or couch and just
lean over and slurp whenever the mood would strike.
If you're the type of gamer who likes to sit on
the floor, make sure to get that really, really
long straw when you buy your Slurpee. Once you're
home, set the cup on the coffee table directly
next to you-now you can sip your drink without
having to let go of your controller.
______As for flavors,
we liked each quite well. If you're having an
all-night video game marathon, you should definitely
go for the Coke Slurpee. Whoever it was that decided
to mate the Coke and the Slurpee, I don't know.
What I do know is, they were geniuses. The two
ideas combine deliciously. And it's great for
a Street Fighter midnight melee. The caffeine
keeps everyone alert, and the Slurpee keeps everyone
happy. However, if you're playing games in the
daylight hours, we recommend Blue Raspberry. Not
only is it still as yummy as you remember it being
as a kid, but it goes great with any Sonic
the Hedgehog game! Of course! Trust us, the
combination could not be more perfectly matched.
The only drawback to the Slurpee as the ideal
video game snacking beverage is that it's only
available at 7-Eleven. Yup, you'll have to make
a special trip to get these drinks. But the good
thing is, you can probably get most of the other
snacks there in one fell swoop. So, why not? Don't
you deserve it?
|
"If
you're playing games in the daylight hours, we
recommend Blue Raspberry. Not only is it still
as yummy as you remember it being as a kid, but
it goes great with any Sonic the Hedgehog
game!" |
| _____After
gorging ourselves on Chips and Slurpees, Team SRX
was very much in need of a break-a CANDY
break. Unfortunately, we did not have the time (or
the stomachs) to sample every kind of candy. Instead,
we experimented with a few key types with the attempt
to get a general feel for what works and what doesn't.
We began with an obvious choice-LOLLIPOPS.
These suckers pair excellently with those games
that seem to, pardon the expression, suck up all
your concentration. If you're in the mood for a
racing game like F-Zero, or a puzzle game
like Tetris, then you cannot afford to reach
for snacks while playing-not if you want to win,
anyway! Lollipops are one of the only snacks you
can really get away with in such situations. Well,
lollipops and gum, if you feel like chewing. We
especially enjoyed BLOWPOPS, which ingeniously
combine the long lasting idea of hard candy on a
stick, as well as the satisfying chewyness of bubble
gum. We suggest buying a whole bag (let's face it,
you'll want more than one and you know it), and
keeping a trash can near by so you can easily toss
away the sticks. |
| _____Moving
on from there, the SRX gang decided to give their
teeth a run for their money with MIKE AND IKE'S.
These tangy little fruit-flavored gems go well with
all types of games. Aside from the delicious flavor,
there is one main reason for this-the ergonomic
design of the package. They come in a movie theatre-style
rectangular box. The SRX snack tip here is probably
obvious-when you open the package, fold the box
flaps inward and squeeze to make the opening as
large as possible. Voila! Now you can drink your
candy! That's right, exactly what Mom told you not
to do, we here at Super Radio X are whole-heartedly
endorsing! Just pause your game, chug, chew, and
un-pause. Now you're ready to continue playing.
Although this snack goes just as well with Resident
Evil as it does with Ecco the Dolphin,
there is one game we found it to taste particularly
sweet whilst playing. Dr. Mario! Mike and
Ike's have the same shape as the little pills on
screen, and it's always slightly more satisfying
to have that game-candy match. |
| _____Still
continuing the candy marathon, our sweet teeth were
craving CHOCOLATE. Let us simplify here by
saying, Hershey's Kisses bad, M & M'S good.
The kisses were way too much work; they take an
overly long time to unwrap. Then, the chocolate
melts on your fingers and you ultimately end up
with a sticky controller. The only game these went
even reasonably well with was Mario Party.
We usually had time to unwrap the sweets and wipe
our fingers on a wet-nap, but sometimes those little
mini-games caught us way off guard and we ended
up with chocolatey Wavebirds. No good! M & M's
on the other hand, were dependable and delectable.
First of all, they melt in your mouth and not in
your hand! This was very important, since we prefer
clean dry hands to control games with. We found
it was helpful to refrigerate the candy ahead of
time, and then pour the bag into a bowl. This way,
the M & M's are even less likely to melt. The
chilled, candy-coated chocolate morsels make a great
treat on a hot day. We enjoyed eating them while
playing Pac-Man, especially, because of the
obvious correlation to power pellets. Yummers! |
| _____Believe
it or not, our snack attacks still raged on! We
made a move back toward the salty with some TORTILLA
CHIPS AND SALSA. Totally different from ordinary
potato chips or Doritos, these are the chips that
eat like a meal! We enjoyed Tostitos Scoops and
some hot and spicy salsa. If you're mildly hungry
but just feel like snacking, then this crunchable
munchie is a good way to go. It refuels you so you
can continue to battle the evil Dr. Wily, Dr. Robotnik,
or even Bowser! Being a snack of two steps, tortilla
chips and salsa automatically incur a problem. You
don't just pick up the chips and brainlessly toss
them into your mouth; you need to dip first. This
can be time consuming, and messy. Our suggestion
here is to make sure to have some napkins handy
and take your time while snacking. Don't try to
eat this while revving your Mario Kart engine
and waiting for the light to turn green. Don't even
think of munching on this while playing Soul
Calibur-it will be the fastest K.O. ever! The
game that chips and salsa really go best with is
Super Mario Brothers, 2 player. This way,
while your friend is jumping Luigi on some goomba
heads, you can leisurely enjoy this festive snack.
You'll be able to take your time, and not get any
tomato puree on your just-vacuumed carpet. Then,
while you bonk Mario's head into some floating golden
boxes, your friend can get his or her munchie on.
This snack requires a little give and take, but
in the end we think you'll find it's worth it. |
"The
game that chips and salsa really go best with
is Super Mario Brothers, 2 player. This
way, while your friend is jumping Luigi on some
goomba heads, you can leisurely enjoy this festive
snack. You'll be able to take your time, and not
get any tomato puree on your just-vacuumed carpet." |
| _____After
virtually inhaling a jar of salsa, our fiery tongues
needed cool down with a nice POPSICLE. No,
not of the rootbeer, banana, and blue raspberry
variety; we had some nice Edy's Whole Fruit Bars.
However, you can substitute fudgesicles if you are
so inclined. We found the popsicles to be a great
ending snack, both palette cleansing and intensely
satisfying on a warm day. Of course, we love the
frozen fruitiness so much that we would want them
even in the dead of winter. The issue with eating
them while playing a video game is, of course, the
stick. You can't set this puppy down and it is very
likely to melt on you while you're consuming it.
If you have to devote one entire hand to your snack,
then some aspect of your gaming is likely to suffer.
But if you love popsicles as much as we do, then
you too will find a way to make it work. Try the
popular PC favorite The Sims. This type of
game is very easy on the old hands. Button mashers
and popsicles definitely do not jive, but we were
easily able to sim it up while eating our final
snack. This game will forgive you for taking a few
seconds (or minutes) to lick your melting popsicle
off the stick, and you won't be dead because of
it. You probably will have peed on the floor a few
times by the time you're done with your popsicle,
but that's basically bound to happen anyway. True,
you will be losing precious time, but I'm sure you
won't miss any sleep over it. Some advice from the
Super Radio X snacksperts is to wrap the stick in
a paper napkin-that will catch most of the drips
that will likely occur. The popsicle is definitely
not the video game snack made in heaven, but don't
automatically dismiss the frozen treat. Trust us,
it can be done! |
_____So,
what did the SRX crew learn from this snackathon?
We really love snacks! Maybe there is no perfect
video game snack, after all. (Or, maybe it is M
& M's.) But if you put enough love into
a munchie, you can make almost anything work to
your advantage. You just have to think things through
and take the care to choose snacks and the games
they go best with properly. You can't just match
up your food and games all willy-nilly. Here is
your mission, video gamers of the planet Earth:
buy some treats, get out your games, and combine!
I think the answer lies with the people. But let
us here at Super Radio X just warn you-video game
snacking is not for the faint of heart!
SARAH
MACDONALD
enjoys composing sonnets and cheating at Duck
Hunt.
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